the day I have been dreading

Today is the day I have been dreading. Max cannot get up. Dan and Steven are off at a wrestling tournament in Southgate, and Bill and I together could not get Max up. We have him on a bed of thick towels, wrapped in several blankets. We cannot get him to take either food or water. Max seems to be either afraid or in a lot of pain, and is not even licking people, and he has this terribly unhappy look in his eye.

Dan told me that when he gets home this afternoon, he will pick Max up and take him out to the truck and then he will take him in to the emergency vet on Packard. We are all expecting them to put him to sleep, given his age (he has already outlived his average breed life expectancy by more than a year and a half) and the fact that many elderly labs pass after their hips give out and they just cannot get up anymore.

So when I get home from work tonight...my protector, my little black puppy...he will be gone. Gone. But going by the look in his eye, he is ready. At least he got a lot of time outside the last two days, as it has been warmer - so other than today, he has been very happy right up to the very end.

Ugly winter weather today. On top of being frantic over Max, I also have to worry about Bill driving back to Muncie through the snow and ice. I told him to be very careful today. He is on his way bacl to school now.

He is glad he was here this weekend, so he could say goodbye to Max. He said it is better for him this way, than in finding out through a phone call or an email when he is at class. This way he could hug him and pet him and tell Max that he loves him.

Oh God. Oh God. Facing something like this alone again. Until it is time for work, I will sit with Max and stroke his face and tell him how much he is loved.