rainy day blues

Steven has now had to use his albuterol inhaler two of the last three days. The last time he had to use it was September of last year. He is very mucousy and his asthma and allergies are really bad right now. On Saturday night he was running around playing soccer, hunched over and holding his chest because his lungs hurt. I hated watching that. On the other hand, I have always tried to teach my kids that they should not let health problems limit them, and that they should live life to the fullest. He was doing that.

I wish ragweed would become extinct, though! Is that a plant that serves any  useful purpose at all? Does it feed any animals or offer pollen to any lovely butterflies? It sure makes a lot of people, including my younger son and myself, very sick!!!

So Steven is sick from his allergies and asthma. I am sick from those same ragweed allergies and asthma. I am now on week two of my latest period, and the period before this one was only two weeks before it started. Extreme stress does that to me. The last time this happened was before I had to go to Arkansas to help clean out my deceased father's home. I had a two months plus long period then. Normal excessive stress gives me diarrhea. And that has been happening, too. So I am in very rough shape right now. No wonder I am depressed and blue!

Bill is all upset because he isn't doing as well as he would like in a couple of his classes. While I am glad he trusts me enough to confide in me, this adds to the stress. The kid is gone to college in another state, and he is unhappy, and there is nothing I can do to help him other than send him cheerful emails and phone calls. I miss my son!!!

We have been short staffed the last three nights I have worked. I am getting very tired, and this is adding to the stress, too. Hopefully tomorrow we will actually have full staffing. That will make a good change.

Maybe its because I am just not feeling well, but I have been miserable lately - missing Bill, missing my late father, missing my late friend Nola (who died several years ago this month), and wishing I could pick up the phone and call my former friend and trying just one more time to get him to work things out with me and be friends again. But I know that would not be welcome. It sucks to care about someone so much, and want to much to be their friend and to have them be your friend and then to have them just...not care.

Ah well. When has life ever been fair?

Hopefully the steady rain we have been having tonight will wash away some of the ragweed pollen, and everything and everyone will be better in the morning!