Work is weird; holiday stuff

Work has been so weird the last week or so. Two weekends ago we had a truly strange and disturbing suicide attempt by a patient out in one of the parking structures. Then was the usual major holiday business (the patient census always seems to go down for the major winter holidays starting a few days before Thanksgiving and lasting through New Years but the patients we have always seem to be so much sicker than usual). The night before Thanksgiving one of the nurses had a heart attack on the job (she was taken to our ER, then sent to another hospital...she is reportedly going to be OK). Everyone I know in my age group thinks social security won't be there for us, and we all joke about having to work until we drop dead on the job - but that was a little too close for comfort. Another nurse was on the phone earlier this week with her son. He was in a car with his girlfriend and her children. While he was talking to his mother on his cell phone, another driver ran a red light and crashed into the car he was in. He, his lady, and the children all had to be taken to the nearest hospital. We have a little old man on one of the intensive care units recovering from major heart surgery who tries to keep walking out AMA (Against Medical Advice). The poor guy is really confused and he wants to go home. There have been plenty of other strange incidents involving staff and patients as well. The holidays are a really stressful time to work in a hospital. Things just get very odd.

I have been busy Christmas shopping the last few days, primarily on the Internet. I have been finding stuff all over the place. My latest purchase will be coming from France, a big box of stuff for Bill. I have only been working on the kids so far...still have to think of things for Dan and the other relatives and family friends.

Wrestling season started last weekend with a Border Wars tournament we hosted at our high school. Dan helped run things, the kids wrestled, and I spent hours helping in the concession stand. Next weekend Steven will wrestle in Dundee and Bill out in Chelsea. I'm not sure which parent will go with which child.

I still do not know when we will be able to get the Christmas tree up, either.

On Saturday after wrestling we went to see the latest Harry Potter movie. It was very well done. The third and fourth movies are a lot better than the first two. The directors trimmed all of the unnecessary sub plots and stuck to the main story line. This one was pretty grim, and when a certain murder happened, Steven and I both cried, even though we've both read the books and knew what was coming. The next two books are even darker, so it will be interesting to see if they can find a director brave enough to follow the plot arc into the darkness.

U2 LYRICS

"Elevation"

High, higher than the sun
You shoot me from a gun
I need you to elevate me here

A corner of your lips
Is the orbit of your hips
Eclipse
You elevate my soul

I've got no self control
Been living like a mole now
Going down, excavation
Higher now, in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

A star
Lit up like a cigar
Strung out like a guitar
Maybe you can educate my mind

Explain all these controls
Can't sing but I've got soul
The goal is elevation

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

Higher now
In the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Love
Lift me out of these blues
Won't you tell me something true
I believe in you

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

Higher now
In the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Elevation
Elevation
Elevation
Elevation

Thanksgiving part 2

http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/1123/p09s03-coop.html Quote: How a simple meal helped the world's top marathoner

By Paul Tergat

NAIROBI, KENYA – I heard about a new TV show in the United States called "The Biggest Loser" in which overweight contestants vie to shed pounds and win $250,000. I have to confess that while I understand the concept, I was a little baffled.
As a long-distance marathon runner, I know how essential it is for people to watch their waistlines and diets. Growing numbers of people are overweight - more than 1 billion worldwide at last count - spurring governments, businesses, and all kinds of support groups into action. It's estimated that in the US alone, the weight-loss industry - which produces everything from pills to foods to diet centers - generated close to $50 billion in sales last year.

You may not hear much about it, but in Africa we also have overweight people. For every fat one, however, we have hundreds more whose bellies are empty. The idea that people would tune in to watch half a dozen people trying to lose weight made me think: Why can't we generate the same amount of interest in the estimated 25,000 people who lose their lives every day because they couldn't get enough to eat?

While we look the other way, the number of hungry people continues to grow, from 790 million in the mid-1990s to 852 million last year - this despite frequent and loud commitments by world leaders to cut in half the number of hungry people by 2015.

Why do I care, you ask? I know what real hunger pangs feel like. As a child, often the only meal I got was the bowl of porridge served at my school thanks to the UN World Food Program (WFP). I was also one of the fortunate ones. Because of those school lunches, I was able to grow up strong and healthy. Millions of my countrymen and women are not so fortunate.

As human beings, every time we see a hungry person, we are gripped by shame and an urgent desire to help. Yet for reasons I don't fully understand, hunger seems to exist in a ghetto - present but unseen.

We only have to look at hunger crises in countries like Sudan, Ethiopia, Niger, and Malawi to understand the urgency of the need. Globally, it's estimated there are 300 million children who run the highest risk of seeing their lives either cut short, or ruined because malnutrition robbed them of normal physical and mental development.

I used to be one of the hungry. Had a food program not been available to me and my schoolmates, I probably wouldn't be writing this, much less could I have set the world record at the 2003 Berlin Marathon or had the chance to once again participate in this year's New York City Marathon.

The Big Apple is a long way from the dusty Kenyan town of Baringo where I grew up and where drought, disease, and hunger were a daily reality. For most kids in Baringo, life was an uphill struggle, where the lack of food meant you couldn't get a head start in life. Children usually spent their early years helping their families earn a living. At best, only one child in the family went to school, but even then, hunger always hovered nearby.

When I was 8, however, all that changed. The WFP began distributing food at the schools in the area, and, all of a sudden, a heavy burden was lifted. My friends and I no longer worried about being hungry in class. We ate a simple meal each day and could concentrate on our lessons.

Those kids who had dropped out of school came back; others, who had never been to school, were sent by their parents. Today, 27 years later, I often ask myself the question: Without the benefit of school feeding, would I have become a literate, healthy, successful long-distance runner?

Since my days as a beneficiary, I have learned that school feeding can dispel hunger, cut malnutrition, double school attendance, and boost educational performance. It also compensates poor parents for the loss of their children's labor while they are attending classes.

What makes school feeding so valuable is that it frees individuals to develop their innate potential while building self-reliance. This can be done for millions of other children around the world.

The highly successful postwar school feeding programs in Europe, the US, Japan, and other countries, helped transform war-torn nations into strong societies and economies in just one generation. The same can be done for developing countries worldwide.

Just 10 cents out of every dollar the US spends on diet products would help prevent the death of almost 10 million people every year. But we don't have to think in terms of millions of dollars. The bottom line is that it only takes 19 cents a day to feed a hungry child in school in Kenya, Bangladesh, or Honduras.

The choice before us then, is not between fighting hunger or obesity - both are important and doable. It's within our power to win while fighting on both fronts.

This Thanksgiving, Americans can be proud of the enormous good that they do through their charitable donations and the aid their government provides in Africa and across the globe. As you pause to give thanks at the dinner table, please spare a thought for those who still need your help. Then, on Friday, when you cannot bear the idea of more desserts, start saving what you would have spent on them in a week or a month and help feed a child.

• Paul Tergat is the world's fastest marathon runner. He is a former recipient of WFP school lunches, and now an ambassador for the program.

Thanksgiving

Well, today did turn out to be a very weird ending to what was a very weird week.

Following last night's little snowstorm, we had a windstorm early this morning. The roaring of the wind woke me up, in fact. It sounded like a train in the distance. Well, I believe it was the wind that knocked out the power to our neighborhood.

Dan spent most of the day messing around with trying to cook the turkey breast on the barbecue grill out on the deck out in the snow. He did manage to accomplish that, and we were very very glad we only had a breast rather than a whole turkey.

About the time I called work to tell them about the situation with the power, and that I might be late because I needed to eat something before I went in, the power came back on. We had hooked up the generator for the furnace and the refrigerator, but were not able to use the stove or small kitchen appliances. So, with power restored, we were able to cook the side dishes and use the oven to make biscuits. I got to try everything except for the pies, which were still cooking when I had to leave for work. I can always get some pie after work, or even eat a piece for breakfast tomorrow.

Well, I wanted a Thanksgiving for my older son to remember, as it might be the last one he has while living at home (depending on where he goes to college). I did not expect a power failure, or a snow storm, or having to barbecue the turkey out in the snow!

Thanksgiving Eve part 2

Very strange day. I wish I could say it was also the end of a very strange week, but I still have to work tomorrow.

The week started with a very odd attempt by a patient to do great self-harm. It involved hanging himself, throwing himself off of a fourth floor railing, the rope breaking (thank God), and the patient landing on the third floor rather than plummeting all of the way down (thank God). He was hurt, but not killed. But it still shook all of the hospital staff up terribly.

Monday and Tuesday we got pounded by high numbers of ER patients. This is not uncommon before a major holiday, so we handled it.

But we have also either run out or come very close to running out of some rather important drugs which are on national back order, and that is extremely frustrating. One is a very commonly used chemo drug. Patients often get it in once weekly doses for a few weeks in a row as a part of their treatment. We aren't sure what is going to happen to our patients who will be getting their treatment cycle interrupted. Infuriating!!!

Today started with that phone call that woke me up out a very sweet and sound sleep. For whatever reason, when I get woken up like that, my brain never seems to wake up for hours afterward.  But I got going and decided to run to the nearest store to get my assigned boxes of granola bars. Right as I was about to walk out of the door I got a very strange phone call from someone who identified themselves as working as the bus garage, and very excitedly asked if I had any children on the bus. I told them that my children were at wrestling practice and should not be on a bus. They asked if my children were in elementary school, and I said no - they are in middle school and high school. They then said OK and hung up. That phone call was very strange, and the only thing I could think of was that one of the busses must have spun out in the snow and ended up in a ditch someplace. That's a phone call to shake up a parent!

Went to the warehouse club, which is the closest grocery store, and the parking lot was completely mobbed. I went in anyway, and the store was mobbed. I grabbed my few items (the assigned granola bars, some blank CD's, and some cookies and a cheesecake to take into work with me to share with my coworkers) and got into line. I was very pleased when I realized that everyone was only getting small items in small numbers. Things like a couple of gallons of milk or a bag of bakery rolls. So that turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

The drive wasn't bad. It was snowing, but the surface roads were fine (the freeways were awful with lots of jack-knifed semis). And the snow was very pretty.

That had changed by the time the midnight shift came in. It was after dark and the snow was nearing a white out. One of the girls took more than two hours to get in from the neighboring town. She took the freeway and there were accidents, spin outs, and jack-knifed trucks everywhere.

So I am glad I got to drive in when I did. And on the way home, the snow had stopped and the surface roads were fine again.

The weird day/night/week was capped off by one of the nurses on duty being taken to the ER for a suspected heart attack tonight.

Only one more night to go for the work week. And tomorrow should be quite pleasant, a holiday at home (for the day anyway) with my children.  Friday I am off from work, and we hope to go see the latest Harry Potter movie!  Saturday our high school is hosting a huge wrestling tournament. Both the kids will be wrestling, and Dan and I will be volunteering all day. Bill has promised to do his UM admission essays this weekend. Maybe we can start getting up the Christmas tree on Sunday? Heaven knows when we might find time otherwise, now that wrestling season has begun...

Thanksgiving Eve; snow

Got woken up (out of a wonderful sound sleep) this morning by a phone call. The person mentioned that it would have been a great morning to sleep in. That made me curious, so as I staggered out of bed, I pulled open the blinds -- and the ground was covered with snow, and it's still coming down pretty good. It's beautiful, but I do not want to drive in it. The first ground covering snow each and every winter is one of the most dangerous drives of the year, even if its only an inch or two. People seem to forget how to drive in the snow since the previous winter, and there are always a lot of accidents.

That said, because of the phone call I now need to leave the house early. It was about the wrestling tournament this weekend, and what I needed to bring for the team to eat.

Now, going to a grocery store the day before Thanksgiving is always a terrifying thing. Everyone and their mama realizes at the last minute that they forgot something for the holiday feast, so the store is insanely crowded.

But going to any store the day after Thanksgiving is even worse. The number and grouchiness of the shoppers on that day of the year is legendary. A local legend is the Wal-Mart TV riot a few years ago, when there was a small riot in a local Wal-Mart store over low priced televisions, when it turned out that the store did not have enough in stock. Shoppers were punching each other out and breaking store windows over those stupid televisions. Good grief! The husband of one of my friends was there, and he said it was a very uncomfortable place to be. I can believe him whole heartedly.

So, of the two choices, I need to go out today to get my two boxes of granola bars for the team.

I wonder how much snow we'll have on the ground by the time I have to drive home from work at midnight tonight?

parent teacher conferences

Spent the day at Bill's parent teacher conferences before going in to work. It was sort of weird, knowing it will be the last time for this son. It will be strange not hearing the teachers complaining about not knowing what to do with him because he is bored in their classes. That complaint came today from his AP Calculus teacher. "I don't know what to do with him. He's bored in class, and whenever I give them time to work on their math problems, he finishes right away and works on stuff for his other classes instead." I asked if he was disruptive to the other kids, and the answer was no. He is getting a 96% in the class, so he understands the material. I told the teacher I did not understand why there was any problem, if that was the case. Eventually, the teacher agreed with me.

Bill is taking a good college prep curriculum this year. He has AP calculus, AP American government, AP second year chemistry, British literature, fourth year French, physics, and a year long independent study in architecture. Hopefully the colleges he applies to will look at that, and see he has a high GPA while doing two varsity sports. He doesn't have community service, which most of them seem to want, other than through his sports programs (teaching soccer to little kids, etc.) but he does work part time, so hopefully that counts for something?

I honestly don't know what half of these colleges are looking for.  Why does Michigan want an admissions essay on the differences between beauty and logic? What is that supposed to show?

I will miss Steven's conferences this year because they are at night, while I am at work. But he seems to be doing fine in school this year. He loves English this year, because the teacher lets them pick out the books they read. He did a fantastic book report, filled with original computer drawn artwork. I was amazed when I saw it.

Where did these fantastic and talented kids come from? I hit my math wall with graphing quadratic inequalities, and Dan didn't even make it that far. And I don't have a bit of artistic talent, though it does run in Dan's family. Is it because we encourage and expect them to do well in school? Is it because we encourage Steven to draw and write? I look at my sons, and it amazes me that I grew them under my heart, held and cuddled them as babies, hugged them when they got skinned knees, encouraged them to go out for sports even though they didn't think they could, watched them growso much. And even though I had no idea of what I was doing when it came to being a parent -- my own mother sexually, physically, and emotionally abused me -- but somehow my kids are not completely and totally screwed up. In fact, they are awesome. How did this happen? How did I somehow stumble into not screwing them up since I had no idea of what I was doing? The only thing I went by is always letting them know how much they are loved, because it is the simple truth. Maybe love is the answer?

My children are the greatest and best part of my life. After my own horrible childhood, I was so frightened of having any children of my own. But I am so happy that I did!

Dune dissection chapter three

Dune chap. 3: Thus spoke St. Alia-of-the-Knife: "The Reverend Mother must combine the seductive wiles of a courtesan with the untouchable majesty of a virgin goddess, holding these attributes in tension so long as the powers of her youth endure. For when youth and beauty have gone, she will find that the place-between, once occupied by tension, has become a wellspring of cunning and resourcefulness."
~from "Muad'Dib, Family Commentaries" by the Princess Irulan

As Paul waits in a nearby meditation center, the Lady Jessica and the Reverend Mother talk. Jessica remembers her own testing with the gom jabbar, and she is goaded into anger by the Rev. Mother.

The two exchange words because Jessica had given birth to a boy rather than the ordered girls. She did it because having a son had meant so much to Leto. The old woman scolds her; an Atreides daughter could have been married to a Harkonnen son and ended the old feud.

It becomes clear in the old woman's words that the Bene Gesserit have a very long-term view. She states that all of mankind's most important parts are mere flotsam in the tides and times of history, and what matters is breeding humans according to their plan.

The current civilization is balanced on a tripod with the legs being the Imperial Household, the Great Houses, and the Spacing Guild and its monopoly on interstellar travel. With the political storm brewing on Arrakis, the Bene Gesserit only hope at this point to salvage key bloodlines.

The Reverend Mother tells Jessica that Arrkais is bad, but perhaps not that bad, as it has been visited by something she calls the Missionaria Protectiva.

Paul is then called in, and the Reverand Mother asks him about his prophetic dreams. He tells her of one he had the night before, set in a cavern where he talked with a girl with completely blue eyes.

Quote:
'You think I could be this Kwisatz Haderach," he began. "You talk about me, but you haven't said one thing about what we can do to help my father. I've heard you talking to my mother. You talk as though my father were dead. Well, he isn't!"

"If there were a thing we could do for him, we'd have done it," the old woman growled. "We may be able to salvage you. Doubtful, but possible. But for your father, nothing. When you've learned to accept that fact, you've learned a real Bene Gesserit lesson."

Jessica is shaken by those blunt words. Paul is even angrier when he sees his mother's reaction.

The Reverand Mother tells Jessica that she sees signs that Jessica has trained her son in the Way, and she approves of that, even though it is against the rules. She says Jessica must train him to use something called the Voice. She tells Paul that she hopes he will survive, but that the Bene Gesserit will succeed even if he does not, then she leaves, with tears running down her face.

bird feeders; holiday plans

I have all of the bird feeders up and running now. Our backyard is filled with cute little chickadees, and our front yard has been taken over by a big flock of gold finches again. The cats adore watching all of these quick and darty little birds through the windows. Its definately a form of high entertainment for them. They sit on the lambswool lined shelves under the windows and watch the little birds and make interesting "ick ick" sounds at the birds all day. I love the bright yellow and black finches. They are beautiful little birds. Last winter at any given time we would have between 12-14 of them around our front porch. When a friend came over he asked me how we got a flock of parakeets in our yard.

I talked to Dan about Thanksgiving again this morning. Because his business has been very busy lately, he doesn't want to do anything for the holiday, even something as simple as going out to breakfast. He says he just doesn't have the time or energy to deal with it. Last night I pointed out that this might be the last Thanksgiving we will have with everyone living under the same roof and that I very much want to do something. This morning I think I have gotten him to agree to a turkey breast (rather than an entire turkey) and traditional side dishes prepared here at home. So hopefully this will take place. It doesn't help that I will be working that night, so we would have to start cooking in the morning to have everything done before I would have to leave for work. I just hope we do something, as it might be the last Thanksgiving we celebrate with Bill living here full time.

productive day off

We are having a very productive day off. I am on my third load of laundry, and we did a load of dishes. Dan and Bill have been burning leaves all day (the windstorm brought them all down). I went through all of my CD wallets and separated the classical music from all of the rest, and organized it by composer.  We even managed to watch the UM/OSU football game, and were disappointed by UM losing like that right at the end.

It was a lovely winter day - sunny, and actually got above freezing. great day for football! Just not for Michigan football fans.

more college stuff

We finally got Bill's ACT scores back today. He did well, scoring a composite of 30. That will get him into most of the colleges on his short list (as usual the University of Michigan is still a question) and even get him very nice scholarships at some of them.  I am very proud of him, as always. It always amazes me that I contributed to the formation of such a wonderful person!

Got the new stereo sytem set up in my bedroom tonight. I am going to go through all of my CD wallets tomorrow and consolidate all of the Mahler, Bach, and Beethoven music I have. After I finish my Mahler Symphony Quest (since its been awhile, I am going to start right back at the fantastical fireworks of the First Symphony) I think I will start on a Beethoven Symphony Quest. While I love his Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, and Ninth I have never heard some of the others. It is time.

Dan and I went out to dinner tonight, and to the bookstore. We picked up Bill a couple of books to help him get going on his admission essays. We also picked up a couple of books to help him get ready for all of his AP tests. The last year in high school takes a lot of time and work if your child is going to college!

It is less than a week to Thanksgiving, and we will probably be going to a brunch this year, since I am working that holiday. Cooking a big dinner will be too much, and we will be busy on Friday getting things ready for a big wrestling tournament our club is hosting, and busy all day on Saturday at the tournament. So I will have to check out the newspaper and make some reservations. Usually that's the weekend we start putting up the Christmas tree and decorations, too, and I do not know when we will have time this year.

I also have to start my holiday shopping soon. I know I can only get one particular gift for Bill through the internet...need to get going on that tomorrow...

A Friend's Dream Coming True

Tonight was kind of cool because it was the last night at work for awhile for one of my friends. He will be off for ten days, and will be travelling to New York City to see the huge Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. He has dreamed of seeing it all of his life. He loves parades and has been a volunteer some years at the big Thanksgiving Day parade in Detroit. Since he loves food, I made sure to tell him to go to Gray's Papaya for the world's best hot dogs.

It always makes me happy when someone's lifelong dream comes true.  It can be a serious dream, or a silly dream like most of mine. With everyone so crazily busy in life these days, it seems that most people do not take the time for their dreams, and they do not tend them, and so the dreams do not come true. I am happy my friend will be at his parade!!

Dune Dissection Chapter Two

Dune Chapter 2 To attempt an understanding of Muad'Dib without understanding his mortal enemies, the Harkonnens, is to attempt to see the Truth without knowing Falsehood. It is the attempt to see the Light without Knowing Darkness. It cannot be.
~ from "Manual of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan

In the second chapter, we meet the Enemy.

A hugely overweight man and

Quote: dark-haired youth of about sixteen years, round of face and with sullen eyes

along with

Quote: a slender, short man with an effeminate face

are looking at a high tech globe of tthe planet Arrakis. We soon learn that the big man is the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, the youth is named Feyd-Rautha Harkonne, the Baron's heir, and the short guy is named Piter, who is identified as a mentat assassin.

They are discussing the Emperor giving Arrakis to the Atreides. We learn that the Baron has offered a peace meeting to Leto Atriedes and been refused. It soon becomes clear that somehow the Baron has manipulated things so that the Emperor ordered the Atreides to exchange Caladan for Arrakis, and that this is some sort of revenge plot upon the Duke by the Baron. The Harkonnen have an agent named Dr. Yueh who will soon bring the Atreides to their doom. When asked why not just have Yueh kill Leto right now, the Baron says it must be done on a larger scale, so that all of the Great Houses and the Atreides will know that he has brought the Atreides down.

The mentat reminds the Baron that he was promised the Lady Jessica as his reward for his part in the plans. The mentat and the Baron bicker like an old married couple, then the Baron has the mentat describe the big plan to Feyd.

In a few days the Atreides will be moving to Arrakis. It is thought that they will live in Arrakeen, as that city is most defensible. They believe that the Atreides will move into the Residency, previously home to Count Fenring (the Imperial Ambassador) and his Lady. The house has already been booby trapped for assassination attempts upon Paul. The Harkonnen agent is Dr. Yueh, but he has a special conditioning thought to be unbreakable. The Harkonnens have indeed broken it, but no one will ever suspect him as he has the Imperial Conditioning. They will make it look like Lady Jessica should be suspected instead. They will also have some uprisings in garrison towns to add to the stress and confusion. As soon as the Duke finally starts feeling secure, they will signal Yueh, and he will betray the Duke just as the planet is secretly invaded by Imperial Sardaukar (Imperial troopers).

Because House Harkonnen is doing the dirty work of the Imperium, they will be given back Arrakis, as well as a directorship in something called CHOAM, which will make them wealthy beyond dreams.

They will have it all -- wealth, power, a dirty secret (the Sardaukar involvement) to hold against the Emperor, and the public credit for the desctruction of their great enemies -- the Atreides.

Dune Dissection chapter one

A new beginning: Dune chapter one! A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct. This every sister of the Bene Gesserit knows. To begin your study of the life of Muad'Dib, then, take care that you first place him in his time; born in the 57th year of the Padishah Emperor, Shaddam IV. And take the most speacial care that you locate Muad'Dib in his place: the planet Arrakis. Do not be deceived by the fact that he was born on Caladan and lived his first fifteen years there. Arrakis, the planet known as Dune, is forever his place.
~ from "Manual of Muad"Dib" by the Princess Irulan

The ruling family of the planet Caladan is leaving in one week for the planet Arrakis. They have ruled Caladan for 26 generations; more than 500 years by our reckoning of generations, which each lasting about twenty years. Few ruling families on Earth have ever lasted so long!

As our novel opens, a fifteen year old boy named Paul is in his bed, and he overhears his mother, the Lady Jessica, having a conversation with a visitor, an old woman whose shadow reminds him of a witch. His mother, the concubine of a duke and mother to that duke's heir, treats the old woman with a great deference. Mysterious words like Kwizatch Haderach and gom jabbar are used. Paul wonders about this very strange conversation as he falls asleep and dreams a dream he knows will predict the future. The dream is set upon the world his family is leaving their homeworld to rule - Arrakis, the desert world known as Dune.

Some things become clear in Paul's thoughts. The move to Arrakis is both a great victory for his royal house, Atreides, and a great danger. His father is a very popular man among the Great Houses, and is seen as a possible threat by the powers that be. Paul is overprotected and lonely on Caladan, and it does not seem that he will miss the world of his birth. And Paul's mother has trained him in great mental discipline, and in something called the Bene Gesserit way.

In the morning Jessica comes for her son, to take him to the old woman, who turns out to be the Reverand Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam, and the Emperor's own truth sayer. Jessica is afraid. The Rev. Mother is peevish from her journey, and fusses in her mind about Jessica having a boy rather than a girl, as she had been ordered to do. It immediately makes you wonder about people who have the power to order around the pregnancies of a woman who is the mate of the man who rules a planet. The old woman looks at Paul, and sees his ancestors in his face and coloring, including a maternal grandfather who cannot be named. Makes you wonder if that "cannot be named" means he is unknown, or if there is something deeper and more mysterious going on...

The old woman sends Jessica away, and calls Paul over to her. She has him stick his hand in a black box which produces pain, then sticks a needle coated with a deadly poison against his neck. That needle is the gom jabbar. And being able to stand there as his hand feels as if it is being burned off without moving (if he moves the needle will kill him) is the test of whether or not he is human!

Paul passes the test, with the help of the mind exercises his mother has taught him. The old woman admits she used more pain on him than on anyone she had previously tested, and she gets excited when she learns he can tell whether or not someone is telling the truth. She wnders, in her thoughts, if he could be the one?

The old woman tells Paul to sit at her feet, as his mother did as a girl, but he refuses.

A relieved Jessica is called back into the room, and a brief conversation takes place about an ancient revolt called the Butlerian Jihad that set humans free from their enslavement by thinking machines. Paul is told that the Bene Gesserit comes down from those days, with a beginning as a group which trained human minds to replace the machine mind overlords. One purpose is politics, another for sorting people into humans from animals for breeding purposes. One of the goals of the breeding is to produce the Kwisatch Haderach, a man who can function like a Bene Gesserit who has used a special truth drug, but who can mentally go places the women cannot.

Thus far, any male who has tried to do this has died from the testing.

first snow of the season

Yesterday I saw my first snowflakes  of this winter while driving to work, and some more on the way home, and then some more this morning when I looked out the window when I woke up. Nothing is sticking to the ground yet, but it is cold enough for the snow to stick if it arrives in sufficient quantity. The high will be below freezing today. At least the sun is trying to peek out from behind the cloud cover, which is always very welcome at this time of year.

Last night was the one night of the year when they open the store at work for people who work the off shifts. It normally closes at 1530. It was mobbed. A lot of people like to buy high end electronics there, as the price is comparable with electronic stores, and you do not have to pay state sales tax on your purchases because it is a federal store. It is the VA's answer to a military PX. I bought a new stereo system for my bedroom, because the CD player portion of the old one died several months ago. I can now finish my Mahler quest with the last two symphonies I had not had a chance to listen to, the seventh and eighth. The old system went into Bill's room. He doesn't mind having a good radio to listen to in there, and maybe someday Dan can figure out why the CD player doesn't work, if he ever finds time to look at it.

I got to have Bill home for lunch today. He has a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so he dropped off at home for some soup before heading into Ann Arbor and the doctor's office. It was great seeing him. I hate not being able to see the kids during the week because of my screwy work schedule. It's like being divorced and the noncustodial parent, even though I live in the same house! I usually only get to see them two nights (Friday and Saturday) and two days (Saturday and Sunday up to the afternoon) a week. And then they are usually busy with sports. Dan gets to see them everyday, and has never been able to understand why vacations are so important to me. It's the only time I can see him and the kids without either his business or their sports controlling everything. For him its a nice break to get away from the kids for a few hours. For me its a nice break to be able to see them!

winter is here!

Monday was my older son's birthday. He turned 17. It's hard to believe that this is the age he will be when he graduates high school and begins college! It always puts me in awe when I think that this wonderful young man, with all of his intelligence and his gentleness and determination was once a tiny little being growing underneath my heart. We had a good day on Monday. We had a nice dinner (I made him four cheese biscuits - we loves fresh baking) and we gave him books and music and a new video game for the Gamecube.

Now that my long weekend is over, I am feeling rather blue, though that might also be due to the weather.

Winter has snuck in over the last couple of weeks. I told the kids on the day we were up in Holt that the season was turning. Yesterday we had torrential rain for hours and hours, and the winds were roaring so loudly all night it was hard to fall asleep. I made the mistake of driving home on the freeway instead of the country roads, and the winds were so strong they blew the semitruck in front on me into the next lane. Of course, my Jeep was also all over the road. But I made it home safe and sound, and we didn't have any trees come down in the yard, and we did not lose our power. Nor did we have a tornado, as happened one county to the south!

I finished watching Sex and the City this morning. I have been slowly working my way through the dvd's for at least a couple of months now. While I know some people wouldn't be able to deal with the nudity and language (and its certainly nothing you want to watch while the kids are at home), I hugely enjoyed it. It tells the story of four women friends in New York City and how they learn to love. One has to get over the illusion that "perfection" is the same thing as love. She thinks that love is having everything perfect - good looking rich husband, perfect white wedding, perfect apartment, etc. One has to get over the illusion that grand romantic gestures mean love. One has to get over the illusion that great sex is the same as love. One simply has to get over her own fear of emotional intimacy and rejection. What do the girls (and their mates) learn? Love is what you have when you find the person who will stand by you through anything. Love is the person you can laugh with. Love has nothing whatsoever to do with physical looks or profession. Love is the person who celebrates your success, as much as his/her own. Love is forgiving. Love is giving extra chances. Love is when someone accepts you as you are - warts, extra pounds, too much or too little hair, and all.

Quiet Weekend Days at Home

Day four of a five day weekend. I had a very peaceful and pleasant day at home with the kids.  Dan and Bill went out and raked leaves all day (Steven and I were exempt due to allergies) and Stevie and I worked inside the house. I helped Bill with his admissions essays to the University of Michigan, and his applications to Eastern Michigan University and Western Michigan University are ready to go out tomorrow. That UM application is a massive undertaking and pain in the butt, though. Might take a couple more weeks on that one. Three essays are a bit much! I also baked some pumpkin bread.

I have been spending a lot of time reading the George Martin book, A Feast For Crows. Am very happy to read it, and have been greatly enjoying it. I've been craving it for five years, and am savoring every word in it. I am glad there will probably be only a year to the next book in the series, the twin to this one, A Dance with Dragons.

I have not been able to work much on my NaNoWriMo story this week, but am still happy I was able to start writing again. The seed of  what could be a very good story is there, if I find time to polish it up a bit.

Tomorrow is Bill's birthday.

Meeting the Great Writer George R. R. Martin

I live about ten miles from Ann Arbor, where George R.R. Martin did a book signing tonight.

While driving in, there was unnaturally bad traffic for the couple of miles from the freeway to the campus area. We're talking worse than rush hour bad traffic. We're talking as bad as a UM home football game traffic. We're talking bumper to bumper here. Dan was teasing me and saying that all of these people were heading to Borders for the Martin reading. As we got closer to the bookstore, and it became clear that everyone was heading to the Martin signing, it wasn't funny any more.

At Borders they gave out colored tickets depending on what time you arrived. There were hundreds and hundreds of people there. I have no idea how many hundreds, as so many people were everywhere, not only in the open area where they had set up chairs for the reading (the chairs were all filled and so was the standing space) but all of the shelving units in that part of the store, including those behind the podium, were all filled with people. I stood behind a shelving unit filled with dvd's and peeked over the top to be able to see GRRM. Pretty much the whole second floor of a building that takes up most of a city block was filled with people.

Martin was very surprised to see so many people. He was surprised that he was completely encircled. "There are so many of you and you are all around me!" His talk was warm and funny. He gestures a lot with his hands. He talked about previous trips to Ann Arbor when he was a college student at Northwestern and he would come over for football games. He talked about when he started out as a writer he couldn't pay his bills on what he made with his pen, so he also had a job running chess tournaments, and Ann Arbor was one of his regular stops.

In reaction to the large crowd, he told a funny story about how the smallest crowd he ever had at a signing was -4 (that's right; negative four) in downtown St. Louis for A Game of Thrones.

He spoke of how he thinks of A Song of Ice and Fire as a symphony with the individual books as the movements and the characters as the instruments.

He spoke of the notorious originally planned "five year gap" and why he had to scrap it, and restart the book, and how that delayed the book. He spoke of why the book had to be split into two. He said that he hopes to be back in Ann Arbor this time next year to do a signing for A Dance with Dragons, and that he hopes to be done with the series in about six years and a total of seven books (four of the seven are now out and he is well on his way with the fifth), but he admitted it might take more than six years. He would like to write some science fiction and horror again someday, after he finishes this series.

He took questions from the audience.

He does not see them ever being able to make a movie, though he said he would consider it for a large dumptruck filled with money (that was a joke). He pointed out that LOTR in its entirety is shorter than ASOS alone. If LOTR took three long movies to film, it would take more and longer movies for ASOIAF. He says that a miniseries is also unlikely, due to the length of the material, as these days many miniseries are only four hours long.

He loves all of his characters, including the bad guys, but his favorite character to write is Tyrion, as he is witty and active and emotionally tortured. His least favorite to write is Bran, as he is the youngest so you have to look at every word to see if an eight year old would know it and every situation to try to see it as an eight year old would understand it, he is crippled and therefore more reactive than active, and his chapters have the most magic thus far. Martin compared magic in fantasy novels to anchovies on pizza. A little adds flavor and spice, too much can overwhelm it.

When he writes he will write chunks for one character at a time. Perhaps he will write 2-3 Jon chapters, then will find something he has to write in another character's POV to go with what he just wrote for Jon, so then he will work on a couple of that character's chapters. And when he puts them together in the books, he will often change their order several times before he finds the optimum order, which will make him do minor rewrites to fit them in together just right.

Someone asked why the seasons are so messed up. Martin said he couldn't give an answer necause that would be telling! He did say that there would eventually be an answer in one of the books, and the answer would be a fantasy (as opposed to a science fiction/science based) answer.

He has a good chunk (I seem to remember over 500 pages) done in A Dance with Dragons and he has part of a third Dunk & Egg novella also finished.

Then came the two hour wait (I was in the middle color of the five colors used; some people had a considerably longer wait) to get my copy autographed. People had come from all over the place to get to this signing. It was interesting talking to them in line. It was also torture, as the line snaked through the music section, and I saw many jazz and classical CD's I would have liked to have looked at more closely. When I finally got up to the table, Martin was very warm and friendly and happy. I am a very shy person but he put me to ease right away.

I'm going to go read my book now.

Good and Bad; Ups and Downs

In the great pattern of my life, every moment of great joy has to be followed by a lot of crap. It is just the way things always seem to work out. In this case, it was joy over how all of one of my son's years of hard work paid off in Holt last weekend.

The crap is that the same son was having his first asthmatic episode in years in the wrestling room just a couple of nights later. He started wheezing and couldn't get up off of the mat for a few minutes. That same day I had called to work due to allergy problems. The next day the same son had was running a fever and had a nasty infected area on his knee, complete with oozing pus. So for his thirteenth birthday yesterday, I got to take him into the doctor. His breathing was OK -- they checked his lungs and he's just a little under average for his weight and age in how much air he can move in and out (I shudder at that, considering he's a top athlete) and he was put on antibiotics for the skin infection. I kept him home for rest of the day, and made him his favorite dinner and let him just relax and have fun all day and evening long. I even let him stay up until midnight since it was his birthday, even though it was a school night. The excitement came when I had my own asthmatic episode, and the kids had to run to get my rescue inhaler. I was laughing really hard and my lungs didn't want to work right. There are a lot worse ways to go than laughing yourself to death, if it ever comes to that.

Bill had his soccer banquet this week. It was bittersweet for him, as he is now a former Big Red soccer player. One of his fellow seniors, a gifted goal tender, has been offered a full soccer scholarship at a local university, and that was great! The coach said that pound for pound, Bill was the most aggresive and tough soccer player we've ever had in this town. They always did like to put him into games to knock opponents on their butts! They gave special medals to the seniors this year, something they've never done before. When these young men were freshmen four years ago, the team did not win a single game. But they stuck with it for four years, and in this, their senior year, the team won most of its games (had the best record in the history of the school) and was state ranked for the last five weeks of the season. So the medals were a way of saying thank you to these players for sticking with it. It's easy to stay with a championship team. It's not so easy to come back after a disaster like their freshman year.

I have tried one last time to try to work things out with a friend who things went sour with last December. This will probably be the last time I try. The person is very dear to me, but how many times must one person have to be rejected? Hot and cold, friendly and not, and the most mixed signals in the world. I do not know how to take this person, I do not know how to fix things, I do not understand this person. I do not understand where this person is ever coming from. But I do miss our friendship. I miss the laughter. I miss the kindness. I miss the smiles.

edited: Just heard back from former friend. Rejected yet again. That is it. There is no point in trying anymore, or ever again. One more load of crap to balance out the joy. I am not angry with this person -- we each did a lot to hurt the other, and most (if not all) of it was unintentional. A lot of snowballing pain and the like... This person simply might not be ready to try again to be friends. If this former friend wants to be friends, or needs me for anything, I will be there. But any further attempts have to come from that end, not my end. I have tried, but have obviously struck out.

Border Wars National Championships

Busy couple of days. On Saturday we drove to Holt (near Lansing) for Steven to weigh in for the Border Wars National Championship. He made weight without a problem, and we stopped off in Jackson on the way home and ate dinner at the Old Country Buffet, beloved by preteens and teens everywhere!

This morning we got up very early and headed back up to Holt. The breakfast of a champion, by the way is choclate frosted donuts and Mountain Dew! It was tournament morning! Dan was extrememly hyper and driving the rest of us nuts! Billy was lucky-- the tournament director kept begging for table help so he volunteered. He did a good deed -- they really did need his help -- and he got to get away to the far end of the gym for the whole day. My role for the day was to try to keep peace between Steven and his hyper father, as well as filming Stevie's matches. I'm sure Dan's blood pressure was spiking on him most of the day! And Steven was fine as long as his dad left him alone.

They started out the day with the parade of champions. In order to get into this tournament every boy and girl had to be a champion at a qualifying tournament. The kids paraded around the gym to this song (I edited out the naughtier bits for family consumption):

EMINEM LYRICS

"Lose Yourself"

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no
He won't have it , he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stagnant that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap ****
He bettergo capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these **** is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
His **** don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partna', but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

[Hook]

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this ********** roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these ****** food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
See dishonor caught up between being a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only ******** option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

[Hook]

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

Anyway,my Stevie did just fine on the day. He only lost one match - to the kid who would eventually finish second -- and that was a close bout and he lost by only three points. He pinned all of his other foes, including a kid who had won medals at national tournaments before. He came in third, and he worked his butt off and he earned it.

We stopped off at the Cracker Barrel in Okemos for dinner on the way home. While we were leaving, a woman traveling alone approached us. Her car battery had died and was hoping we could give her a jump. Now, when my father passed, one of his things that I got from his garage was a car emergency kit. it has jumper cables and flares and all sorts of useful items if you are having car trouble. So we were happy to help her out. We didn't realize until we got home that Dan must have left the kit on the ground up in the restaurant parking lot in Okemos. He felt very bad about it, and I had to reassure him for quite sometime that it was OK. I think he knew how irritating he was today, so is now supersensitive and insecure. I have only yelled at one person in something like a year, and that person so entirely deserved it, and even then I felt terrible and guilty about it. So why would I yell at him or get mad at him for a simple mistake anyone could make? Sometimes men can be so strange!

lovely Indian summer days

I am on the second day of a four day weekend right now, and it feels very good. Its such a lovely and sunny and warm day that I have been able to open up the windows for the cats.  I have never seen such a gloriously lovely autumn. I have been taking the Max, my elderly dog, out about once an hour. Its just beautiful today!

Yesterday I had a nagging headache most of the day. I was about a quarter hour late to the dealer for the Jeep's oil change, and that got freaked out phone calls from both the dealer and Dan, because I am almost always early for everything. Once we sat down and had spicy Chinese food and lots of hot tea, I did feel a lot better. Then we went and sat in a park in the Old West Side in Ann Arbor until the Jeep was ready. It was so pretty outside, and it was really nice relaxing on a bench and watching all of the children playing.

I took a day off from NaNoWriMo yesterday. It seems to have really recharged my batteries today, as I have been writing up a storm this afternoon. Dan is spending the night in Lansing with some friends tonight, so I can stay up really late tonight and get a lot done.  Hopefully, I can get a bunch of laundry done, too, sicne I am running low on clean undies.

 


Your true angel is Helpful. you can't help it, but you love helping people and things, as if it's your job. you are very nice thats why you have lots of friends   http://quizilla.com/users/taijiyamiko/quizzes/Your%20Unknown%20Angel%20Inside%20(amazing%20pics%2C%20girlz%20only%2C%20and%20PLEASE%20read%20memo%20first!)  


 

The story for NaNoWriMo is going better than I thought it would. When I woke up this morning, my mind was swirling with ideas. Dan figured out that I have to average between 1500 and 2000 words per 24 hours to be able to reach the 50,000 words in one month goal. In about 26 hours, I have a bit less than 2000 words, so it's going alright, especially considering that they were both work days. The quality isn't there, but the fact that I am writing again is what matters. The rest will come with time and effort.

One more night at work this week, then a four day weekend. I fought to stay awake all night, and counted down the minutes.

It is November now , and its cold and cloudy. I have a nagging headache today, and I think its from eating too much candy at work last night. Halloween is fun, but can lead to too much sugar sometimes. We didn't even give out candy this year. I was at work, and the kids had wrestling practice. Steven is upset because he has to work out with the high school this year, even though he's only twelve. Its just that having him at the middle school practices isn't fair to the other children there. I have been told that he actually has a good shot at placing at the big Border Wars National Championships this Sunday. We will see.

I started a story for NaNoWriMo last night. It's not very good, but I am writing something other than a short poem for the first time in years. I also know I will not reach the 50,000 word goal. But I am writing again, and that is good enough for me.