yesterday and today

Yesterday was my last day off of my long weekend.

It was just this nice and quiet Sunday at home with Dan and Steven.

We did some dishes and laundry; Dan cooked pancakes for breakfast, and we had leftover pasta for dinner.

It was warm for so late in the month and we took a short walk with the elderly dog.

I read a couple of short mystery books, and the boys watched the Detroit Lions game.

At about two in the morning I woke up crying.

Yes, that is how stressed out I was about coming back to work today.

It is not the work itself, it is some of the ever-grouchy people I have to work with. Sometimes I can feel my physical and mental health slip away bit by bit, one whine, one complaint, and one temper tantrum at a time. Oh - that temper tantrum will take another year off of my life! That whining fit cost me a week of life! I honestly think some of the people I currently work with need to have psych evaluations based on their poor and childish behavior. The work is fine - the weird whiney people are pure and unadulterated stress.

I try not to complain about it, either to Dan, or even here. I do not like to even think about it most of the time. But when I have been away from it - that is when I realize how terrible it is, and how it is starting to break me. When I am not at work I can sleep. I can eat without feeling like throwing up. I do not get diarrhea on a daily basis.

To make life worse, Mr. Grinch has been at it again lately. How many times do you have to dump someone to get them to leave you alone? How many beloved mutual people and places do you have to leave to get someone to leave you alone? He came out of nowhere - after having blessedly left me alone for months - and started trying to pick fights with me again. Simply because I was happy that the Lions had won a couple of games, something which had literally nothing to do with him. He spoke to me and my face broke out in a nasty rash and I got the runs for days. I was angry and upset enough to make the mistake of speaking back to him, and I was nasty enough that he did shut up after two exchanges. I thought that got the message across, but this weekend he was nasty again, and I can proudly say that this time I completely blew him off. I do not think anyone I have ever known other than my mother has ever hated me as much as this man does. If he actually wanted to be friends, or even talk occasionally, wouldn't he be nice????  If you had repeatedly treated someone poorly and lied to them, wouldn't you quietly approach them in private and be very nice to them if you changed your mind and wanted to be friends after all???(Actually, wouldn't he have been willing to work it out during that year when I tried to work things out, and he just kept treating me like crap and lying? How many chances does someone need????) Wouldn't he apologize?????????? Only pure hatred would explain following someone around and being mean and picking fights the way he has for nearly two years now (it will be two years in February since I broke things off with him the second time, next month will be three years since he started treating me like crap and I broke things off with him the first time).

The sad thing is, I am pathetic enough that if he were to be nice, I would probably be willing to meet him halfway, for the sake of all of our mutual friends if nothing else. But there is not danger of that ever happening, now is there? I think if someone offered him a million dollars he could not find it within himself to be nice to me.

One good thing - Steven's report card came and he got a bit over a 3.94 GPA. I guess I did not warp him for life by home schooling him for a year after all.

And Bill will be home from school tomorrow for a few days, for Thanksgiving. That will be great, too!

Holy crap, cats, and cows - I am in a terrible mood. Going back to work and being bothered (AGAIN!!!!) by someone who hates me and tries to pick fights with me just does not agree with me at all. Three work nights this week, one night soon to be down, and I can home with my family again. If I ignore Mr. Grinch maybe he will leave me alone (at least for a few months) for awhile again.