been a long time

Life goes onwards.

Yes, I did have severe obstructive sleep apnea and now sleep/try to sleep with a CPAP machine. So I had two completely different and unrelated medical conditions that both cause constant extreme fatigue - the thyroid issues and the sleep apnea. And my endocrinologist suspects that I have lupus, though the test results are mixed.

I feel somewhat better now, but am resigned that I will never feel entirely well again. It has simply been too long.

I will try to be better about posting at least occasionally.

one week

Well there is one week (next Monday) to my second sleep study to be fitted out with a CPAP device, to help my breathing while I sleep.

It has turned out that I had not one but two completely different and unrelated medical conditions that cause exhaustion - the thyroid problems and also severe chronic obstructive sleep apnea.

Hopefully once I get the CPAP, I will turn the corner and start to feel better (for the first time in years).

Here is crossing my fingers and hoping for the best!

bleak Monday

The local news at noon said that the last Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year for most people in the northern US. Cold, dark, spring is still a long time away, and the holiday bills are starting to arrive. We are getting fresh snow on top of all that today.

Maybe that is part of why I am so tired, even though I just had my weekend off.

I think the biggest part of being so tired today is spending the day in Chelsea on Saturday to see Steven wrestle in his first tournament since he had his ribcage injury back in December.

While I will never regret spending time with or for my children, I knew there would be a physical price to be paid for going to Chelsea.

I have been paying it yesterday and today in fatigue.

ugh

Dan suggested that I start documenting how bad I feel all of the time, in case it is ever needed medically or whatever.

Sunday I felt exhausted beyond description. I got up for a couple of hours to eat breakfast, went back to bed. Slept for a while, then lay there for 45 minutes, unable to move because I was so tired. Dragged in to work that afternoon, but accomplished little while there, as I was so tired. Did talk to one of the supervisors about my options for dealing with the constant exhaustion. All of them involve medical excuses from my doctor.

Monday was my day off. So tired I was afraid to drive, for fear of getting into a car wreck. Did drive, to take my younger son to the chiropractor in Saline. Did sort of "wake up" in the car while driving a couple of times, as my mind had wandered off in a tired fog. No accidents, thank God.

Today: slept twelve hours last night. Still not feeling well. Cannot get warm. Took a shower last night before bed not for hygiene but to get warm from the hot water. Still cannot get warm today. Still have the cold I started coming down with two Fridays ago. Blowing lots of green goo out of my nose; have terrible headache. Need a nap, but cannot take one since it is a work night.

still exhausted

I am still exhausted most of the time. It has been over a year since I had to drink the radiation to kill my thyroid, and I still feel like crap most of the time, which is why I do not post very often. Not much point in continually posting that I am tired and feel bad! Not to mention that I really hate complaining and whining.

I am so exhausted most of the time I am approaching wit's end. It seems like all I have energy to do is to drag into work, with little to nothing left over for a personal life. I have to budget my bit of energy - as in OK, if I go to the library and/or grocery store, I will have nothing left to do the laundry...I do not even have the energy to do something as simple as drive up the road a few miles on a day off to watch a movie, much less anything else. My days off are spent sleeping twelve hours, getting up for a couple of hours, taking a nap, getting up for a couple more hours, then going back to bed for the night. And that sucks.

Even though Dan and the kids do a lot to help out, the house is always a mess. I do not have energy to even do simple things like go out for a walk and get some fresh air.

I hate my life right now.

And yes, I still go in for blood draws every six weeks, and they are still working on getting my synthroid levels right.

another year

Turned 45 recently. Spent a quiet day at home with Dan and the kids. We went out to Bone Heads Bar-B-Que restaurant in Willis for dinner, then came home for cake and ice cream.

Pleasant day.

Bill and I had what the doctors think was the swine flu last week. He had it much worse than I did, but we are both doing OK now.

I just had a week off from work, which I spent watching Steven play soccer (he plays varsity for his high school), playing a lot of games on Facebook, running errands, and getting as much rest as humanly possible. Tomorrow is the last day day off, and Dan and I want to go to a park or a botanical garden or arboretum, and go for a walk in the beautiful autumn woods.

autumn daze

It is cold, dark, and rainy today. The power was out for at least a couple of hours this morning, leaving me without lights or running water or heat. Today would be a perfect day to curl up in bed or on the couch with a stack of good books, a bottomless mug of hot chocolate, and a pile of blankets to snuggle underneath.

Alas, tonight is a work day.