still exhausted

I am still exhausted most of the time. It has been over a year since I had to drink the radiation to kill my thyroid, and I still feel like crap most of the time, which is why I do not post very often. Not much point in continually posting that I am tired and feel bad! Not to mention that I really hate complaining and whining.

I am so exhausted most of the time I am approaching wit's end. It seems like all I have energy to do is to drag into work, with little to nothing left over for a personal life. I have to budget my bit of energy - as in OK, if I go to the library and/or grocery store, I will have nothing left to do the laundry...I do not even have the energy to do something as simple as drive up the road a few miles on a day off to watch a movie, much less anything else. My days off are spent sleeping twelve hours, getting up for a couple of hours, taking a nap, getting up for a couple more hours, then going back to bed for the night. And that sucks.

Even though Dan and the kids do a lot to help out, the house is always a mess. I do not have energy to even do simple things like go out for a walk and get some fresh air.

I hate my life right now.

And yes, I still go in for blood draws every six weeks, and they are still working on getting my synthroid levels right.

another year

Turned 45 recently. Spent a quiet day at home with Dan and the kids. We went out to Bone Heads Bar-B-Que restaurant in Willis for dinner, then came home for cake and ice cream.

Pleasant day.

Bill and I had what the doctors think was the swine flu last week. He had it much worse than I did, but we are both doing OK now.

I just had a week off from work, which I spent watching Steven play soccer (he plays varsity for his high school), playing a lot of games on Facebook, running errands, and getting as much rest as humanly possible. Tomorrow is the last day day off, and Dan and I want to go to a park or a botanical garden or arboretum, and go for a walk in the beautiful autumn woods.

autumn daze

It is cold, dark, and rainy today. The power was out for at least a couple of hours this morning, leaving me without lights or running water or heat. Today would be a perfect day to curl up in bed or on the couch with a stack of good books, a bottomless mug of hot chocolate, and a pile of blankets to snuggle underneath.

Alas, tonight is a work day.

thank you Mr. Harwell

How I love this old man. Ernie Harwell, with his class, generosity, humility, and kindness exemplifies what is best about all humanity. God bless you and keep you Ernie. We love you!

brief update

I have not posted here in a while; primarily because I have been so stressed out and exhausted due to my job.

Dan and the kids are doing well, though. School starts next week for the kids, and Steven has been in soccer season for a couple of weeks now, even though school has not started yet.

having been trying to relax

Work is always in such a horrible stressful uproar these days, it has been hard to relax.

I have been trying to watch movies when I wake up in the morning to keep from brooding and feeling bad about work. Yesterday it was Paul Blart, Mall Cop, today it was The Other Boleyn Girl, which was gorgeously filmed, but even more flawed in its history than the book it was based upon. Not sure what it will be tomorrow - perhaps Kung Fu Panda or that musical based on Abba tunes whose title escapes me at the moment.

I hate my job.

talking vacation

We spent nine wonderful days at Muskegon State park, camping out on top of a towering sand dune on the Lake Michigan shore, with a stair case down to miles of private beach. It was too cold to go into the water- the water itself was cold due to it being such a cool summer, and the day time highs were only in the sixties some days when we were there - but ti was still peaceful and beautiful.

It rained two nights and one day while we were there.

Dan and I drove up the coast to Pentwater, Luddington, and Manistee one day, stopping off at farm stands for fresh cherries and blueberries and eating lunch at an outdoor cafe in Pentwater.

Another day we drove down the coast to Grand Haven, and enjoyed lunch there near the beach. The beach was set up for the US Open for beach volleyball, but no one was out because it was raining, cold, and windy.

We cooked over the fire a lot, and had s'mores nearly every night, to the delight of the kids.

One of the cats (Bud) had the time of his life and the other (Matty) hid under blankets in the camper for most of the trip, earning the new nickname of Lumpy - as in lump under the blankets.

It was a wonderful and relaxing time, and I was very sorry to come home and have to go back to stressful nasty work.

I have woken up twice since coming back in the middle of the night, dreaming of being in the camper, and wondering where I am, while lying there in my own bed at home.

On Thursday I had a sick day from work as I went to the endocrinologist in the afternoon. Given the never ending fatigue, it was no surprise that they increased the synthroid dose again.

I hate my job. I hate it so much. After more than twenty years there, I have finally reached my limit on how much crappiness I can stand to take. Given the economy in Michigan right now, though, I have little choice in staying or going.