back to work

Made it back in to work last night - after missing seven work days and two weekends where I did very little other than rest and sleep. I made it through about half of the shift before being ready to collapse from exhaustion. Luckily, there was an extra person scheduled, so I could leave without disrupting anything or anyone.

I cannot wait until I start feeling better and can reclaim my life!

Came back to work getting earfuls of nasty rumors that a lot of things will be changing in bad ways simply and seemingly for the sake of messing with people. I am getting so sick of the poisonous atmosphere, but feel that I CANNOT start looking for a new job (if that is even possible in this bad economy) until I feel better. It would be too stressful for me and too unfair to my new employer.

things have not been so good lately

Two Thursdays ago, our elderly dog passed away. It certainly was not unexpected given his age (15 1/2 is a VERY long life for a Labrador retriever), but it has not made it any easier. The few times I have left the house since, I am still surprised when he does not meet me at the door, and am still waiting for the warmth of his warm body curled up on top of my feet every time I sit down to use the computer.

About the same time I think that my thyroid finally died from the radiation treatment I had back in January. At least I started showing all of the symptoms of hypothyroidism rather than hyperthyroidism. In fact I felt so rotten that the doctor wrote for me to be off of work for a week so I can rest. Rest I have - it is all I am capable of doing right now. Even watching television or reading a book is mentally taxing, and I nod off constantly. We will not even talk of me trying to drive - I am so tired I weave around like a drunk and it is a miracle I have not been stopped by a policeman yet.

I get to see the specialist again next week, and can perhaps start on synthroid depending on what my blood labs show. And then I will hopefully have rounded the back turn and be on the home stretch for healing and being well. I really want to feel better.

wind storm

Sure enough, yesterday afternoon I picked up Dan's intestinal bug. I ended up falling asleep for hours in between running to the bathroom. Then I woke up in the middle of the night and could not fall back to sleep for a while.

I sat in the family room with a new book, and listened to the wind blowing like a freight train. Holy crap, it was strong. I am really glad it was not a bit colder, because then it would have come with snow rather than rain and would have been a full scale blizzard.

It made me very grateful that I have a snug house with tight windows. In our old house with its old windows we would have been really cold and drafty all night. Not to mention being grateful we have been able to keep up with the house payments in this horrible economy, which is so much more than a lot of people have.

Yeah, it sucks to be sick. It sucks to have had an undiagnosed medical condition for years which has made me feel like crap for years. It sucks to have a really stressful bad job.

But I have a warm house in a nasty winter storm.

They finally found what is wrong with me, so maybe I can eventually start to feel better after treatment.

And my job sucks, but at least I have one.

feeling better

Thank goodness I am feeling better today. No diarrhea, though still bloody and gassy down there. I spent most of the day resting quietly, watching movies. etc.

I watched Helen Mirren in The Queen and it was a good little quiet and well made film. I can see why it was up for a bunch of Academy Awards. And she was first rate in her role.

Tomorrow I hope to go Christmas shopping. Dan could use some hand tools, so I will probably go to Sears fort those. Steven wants a game for his Wii, and so far Sam's Club has everyone else beat by $5, so I will probably go there for the game.

You could not pay me to go shopping on Black Friday; I have heard too many horror stories from friends who go. Today some poor Wal-Mart employee was freaking trampled to death by a mob out on Long Island. How can televisions on sale become more important than a human life?

sick for Thanksgiving

On Tuesday I was eating a lunch before heading into work. I had made nachos and cheese. I was eating, and something crunched really funny. I spat it out and it was a shard of broken glass. I do not know if it came from the chips or from the bag of shredded cheese, or since both had already been opened somehow got into one or the other here at home. Needless to say, I threw out what was on my plat along with what was left of both the chips and the cheese.

I rinsed out my mouth several times and brushed my teeth several times and rinsed out my mouth again.

My stomach felt upset, but I do not know if any glass actually got down in there, or if it got upset because I was so upset. And I did not know if it would be better to throw up or not, so I held it down, even though I felt like throwing up.

So I hoped for the best.

This afternoon I started having bloody diarrhea.

I do not know if it is from possible glass, or just stress diarrhea over how bad work has been combined with stress from finding broken glass in my food. It was the first time I have gone since eating that meal, so I suppose either or both is possible.

Not fun.

winter is coming

After a beautiful fall, there can be no question that winter is on the way. We have wind warnings out for tomorrow, and one of the local forecasts predicted a winter mix of rain and snow for Monday.

I love the autumn, and am not ready for winter and snow quite yet.

In addition, Steven picked up some stomach bug at school, and we have all been taking turns being sick. Today was my turn. On top of being sick, the Blue Angels kept flying over our house at a low altitude over and over again in preparation for flying over the football stadium in Ann Arbor. Usually I love stuff like that, but they really made my head hurt.

I was also bummed because our local ABC affiliate chose to show a meaningless MAC football game rather than the first half of the Breeder's Cup races today.

So let's see...spent my two days off in a house cleaning orgy (though Bill was a gift from God during the entire unpleasant process), winter is closing in, I was sick, the fighter jets made my headache worse, and area horse racing fans got royally shafted today. And yes - I am horrifyingly grouchy.

On the other hand, I love my children, unlike so many poor souls I still have a house to clean, and our furnace is in good working order to fend off the cold. And the cats are soft and they purr, and they comfort me. And while Michigan lost, so did Ohio State - and that is always a cause for joy! And esptire a stumbling start to their season, the Wings are now playing quite well.

So there are good things in life still.

i just want to feel better, kick the fever, and come back to my normal steady state.