another busy weekend

Well, it was another busy weekend. Friday I wasn't feeling so hot, but managed to go grocery shopping. Made dinner when everyone got home. Watched a great little movie, a nature documentary, called March of the Penguins with Steven. We both loved it, and the extras on the dvd, showing what they went through to film it and scientists attaching a camera to the back of a wild penguin to see what it did when it dives under the ice were really cool as well.

Saturday Dan headed to Dundee with Steven. I wasn't feeling very well, but headed down to Blissfield in the early afternoon to join Bill. I got there and discovered no one had brought any drinks for the kids. So I headed right out, found the town's grocery store, and bought a bunch of bottled water and athletic drinks. I also bought some plastic dish pans and bags of ice to put the drinks in and try to get them cold. The poor kids were very thirsty and all immediately started drinking water.

Enjoyed Blissfield, It's a well run tournament in a pretty little town and Bill always wrestles well there. He has now earned a medal there in all four years of high school.

It snowed Saturday night. I do not know if they are related, but my work called at 7AM this morning and wanted me to come in and work a double because half of day shift had called in. The ones who called in sick are people who do not call in sick very often, so they probably really are sick, as opposed to just "snow wimps".  I'm still not feeling well today, so only went in and worked my own shift. It was very quiet, or I do not know if I could have made it through the entire shift.

One of my friends told me that he thinks someone was killed on his road last night or this morning. His road was very icy from the snow. He said someone wiped out and hit a big tree head on with their car. The hood was smashed back into the car and the air bags had deployed. When he stopped to make sure no one was trapped in the car in the cold (something you have to do if you live in the country - if someone is trapped in a wreck they could freeze to death rather rapidly) he said no one was in the car, but there was blood everywhere.

One good thing about being woken up from a deep sleep (if you can even say that about such a rotten thing) was that I had some time to read some more of my history book about France. I have been reading that book for months now. But I managed to make it all the way from Napoleon III to World war I this morning. I did well.

Mahler's Fifth Symphony

For those who are curious, here is some background on this particular symphony (gets more into the hardcore analysis stuff): http://inkpot.com/classical/mahsym5.html

And this is the version I listened to:
Quote: Conductor: Leonard Bernstein
Ensemble: Wiener Philharmoniker
Label: Deutsche Grammophon
Catalog: #23608
Audio CD (October 25, 1990)
Number of Discs: 1
ASIN: B000001G9F


Now for my own impression of this rather wonderful piece of music:

I first heard this piece of music in February of 2005 as played by the New York Philharmonic on a concert tour. While I have long been a fan of classical music, particularly that of Beethoven, I am a latecomer to Mahler.

This piece of music blew me away.

At the time I first heard it, I was in heavy grief. My father had died just a little over a year before, and the anniversary of his death in mid-January stirred up my feelings of mourning again. I had also just (as I thought at the time) lost a friend who meant the world to me over a misunderstanding of great magnitude. I was in a pretty rough place emotionally.

From the opening muted trumpet solo of pure sorrow through the opening movements of the symphony, Mahler depicts the emotions of grief and loss perfectly in the language of music.

Listen for the horns in the opening movements. The horns equal loss. They cry and rage and quietly sob. The orchestra sometimes sobs and rages along with them, and sometimes the horns briefly play one melody while the orchestra plays another -- just as a person deeply in grief can be so confused. At times there is quiet contemplation, just as you sometimes sit down and quietly remember the person you loved so much. At one point the orchestra even breaks into what I call "demented carnival music". And yes -- when deep in grief sometimes you try to run away from it and lose yourself in either work or in forced play -- in frantic activity.

Yet in the third movement there are hints that happiness can still happen -- that there is still love and beauty in the world. But in the end, the grief still prevails.

The fourth movement is the famous adagio (slow movement) with the soothing and lovely harp music. Mahler wrote this as a love song, a courting gift, for the woman composer who captured his heart and whom he later married.

That love transforms the symphony.

I have always thought that the adagio represents not only love but also


acceptance.

You have accepted that the person you love so much is gone. And with that acceptance you realize that, even though you will always love that person and will never again receive their love in this lifetime -- you are still alive. You can still love. That there is still so much beauty in the world. Perhaps you can no longer share it with your lost one, but the value of life -- love -- beauty -- still exists.

The final movement, the fifth, begins with horns once again. But these horns are not sobbing with grief. This is the horn music Donaldson uses in Mordant's Need. These are the horns that Teresa Morgan hears throughout her story -- the horns that call her to life, to adventure, to duty to others -- to love.

And a work of profound, passionate grief has been transformed through love and acceptance into a work filled with life and with joy.

Fridays are sweet :-)

We have made it through another week. YAY! Well, I have. The kids have one more school day, and both have wrestling on Saturday. But they will be fine, too!

We had snow tonight. It was one of those dangerous little snows - not enough to make any real accumulation, just enough to form a nasty little icy glaze on the road. Yuck. But I made it home from work just fine, though I had to drive very slowly.

Bill's first official high school meet was tonight. They had a quad meet in Tecumseh against the usually pretty good Brooklyn Columbia Central and the two perennial power houses Tecumseh and Dundee. Dundee reportedly played with the other teams (including Tecumseh) like cats with mice. Bill had one match, against a kid from Tecumseh, and won with a pin.

On Saturday Steven will wrestle in a Border wars tournament in Dundee (his school season won't start until January) and Bill will either be in Blissfield or Birch Run (they are splitting the high school team in half and sending one half to each tournament). I am so hoping for Blissfield, as it is in the same direction as Dundee and a lot closer to home. And Birch Run might have terrible traffic with that huge outlet mall up there!

Bill is nearly done (finally!!) with his admission essays to the University of Michigan. He is on something like the fifth draft. I was his final proof reader, making suggestions for better word usage and sentence structure. But 99% of the work is his, and he will stand or fall on his own.

When those are done he can get going on his essay and portfolio for the College of Architecture at Ball State University.

Work remains crazy. We had to get an expensive drug drop shipped to us by Northwest Airlines last night. One patient needs it, and we had already borrowed and cleaned out the supply of that drug from all of the other Ann Arbor hospitals. A big truck shipment will be coming in tomorrow and we should have enough to get through the weekend and repay the other hospitals for what we had borrowed.

I have been trying to listen to Mahler's Fifth Symphony every morning this week. I love that particular piece of music, with its journey through grief and anger to acceptance and then a return to life and possible happiness. But every time I get to the adagio, with its lovely soft harp music, I fall asleep. We're talking almost instantly. I think to myself "Oh, here's the movement with the beautiful and relaxing harp music."and literally the next thing I know, I am waking up completely befuddled two hours later. Tomorrow I will try again, this time after drinking some serious caffeine.

I guess it just shows how stressed out I have been lately!

Work is weird; holiday stuff

Work has been so weird the last week or so. Two weekends ago we had a truly strange and disturbing suicide attempt by a patient out in one of the parking structures. Then was the usual major holiday business (the patient census always seems to go down for the major winter holidays starting a few days before Thanksgiving and lasting through New Years but the patients we have always seem to be so much sicker than usual). The night before Thanksgiving one of the nurses had a heart attack on the job (she was taken to our ER, then sent to another hospital...she is reportedly going to be OK). Everyone I know in my age group thinks social security won't be there for us, and we all joke about having to work until we drop dead on the job - but that was a little too close for comfort. Another nurse was on the phone earlier this week with her son. He was in a car with his girlfriend and her children. While he was talking to his mother on his cell phone, another driver ran a red light and crashed into the car he was in. He, his lady, and the children all had to be taken to the nearest hospital. We have a little old man on one of the intensive care units recovering from major heart surgery who tries to keep walking out AMA (Against Medical Advice). The poor guy is really confused and he wants to go home. There have been plenty of other strange incidents involving staff and patients as well. The holidays are a really stressful time to work in a hospital. Things just get very odd.

I have been busy Christmas shopping the last few days, primarily on the Internet. I have been finding stuff all over the place. My latest purchase will be coming from France, a big box of stuff for Bill. I have only been working on the kids so far...still have to think of things for Dan and the other relatives and family friends.

Wrestling season started last weekend with a Border Wars tournament we hosted at our high school. Dan helped run things, the kids wrestled, and I spent hours helping in the concession stand. Next weekend Steven will wrestle in Dundee and Bill out in Chelsea. I'm not sure which parent will go with which child.

I still do not know when we will be able to get the Christmas tree up, either.

On Saturday after wrestling we went to see the latest Harry Potter movie. It was very well done. The third and fourth movies are a lot better than the first two. The directors trimmed all of the unnecessary sub plots and stuck to the main story line. This one was pretty grim, and when a certain murder happened, Steven and I both cried, even though we've both read the books and knew what was coming. The next two books are even darker, so it will be interesting to see if they can find a director brave enough to follow the plot arc into the darkness.

U2 LYRICS

"Elevation"

High, higher than the sun
You shoot me from a gun
I need you to elevate me here

A corner of your lips
Is the orbit of your hips
Eclipse
You elevate my soul

I've got no self control
Been living like a mole now
Going down, excavation
Higher now, in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

A star
Lit up like a cigar
Strung out like a guitar
Maybe you can educate my mind

Explain all these controls
Can't sing but I've got soul
The goal is elevation

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

Higher now
In the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Love
Lift me out of these blues
Won't you tell me something true
I believe in you

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

Higher now
In the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Elevation
Elevation
Elevation
Elevation

Thanksgiving part 2

http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/1123/p09s03-coop.html Quote: How a simple meal helped the world's top marathoner

By Paul Tergat

NAIROBI, KENYA – I heard about a new TV show in the United States called "The Biggest Loser" in which overweight contestants vie to shed pounds and win $250,000. I have to confess that while I understand the concept, I was a little baffled.
As a long-distance marathon runner, I know how essential it is for people to watch their waistlines and diets. Growing numbers of people are overweight - more than 1 billion worldwide at last count - spurring governments, businesses, and all kinds of support groups into action. It's estimated that in the US alone, the weight-loss industry - which produces everything from pills to foods to diet centers - generated close to $50 billion in sales last year.

You may not hear much about it, but in Africa we also have overweight people. For every fat one, however, we have hundreds more whose bellies are empty. The idea that people would tune in to watch half a dozen people trying to lose weight made me think: Why can't we generate the same amount of interest in the estimated 25,000 people who lose their lives every day because they couldn't get enough to eat?

While we look the other way, the number of hungry people continues to grow, from 790 million in the mid-1990s to 852 million last year - this despite frequent and loud commitments by world leaders to cut in half the number of hungry people by 2015.

Why do I care, you ask? I know what real hunger pangs feel like. As a child, often the only meal I got was the bowl of porridge served at my school thanks to the UN World Food Program (WFP). I was also one of the fortunate ones. Because of those school lunches, I was able to grow up strong and healthy. Millions of my countrymen and women are not so fortunate.

As human beings, every time we see a hungry person, we are gripped by shame and an urgent desire to help. Yet for reasons I don't fully understand, hunger seems to exist in a ghetto - present but unseen.

We only have to look at hunger crises in countries like Sudan, Ethiopia, Niger, and Malawi to understand the urgency of the need. Globally, it's estimated there are 300 million children who run the highest risk of seeing their lives either cut short, or ruined because malnutrition robbed them of normal physical and mental development.

I used to be one of the hungry. Had a food program not been available to me and my schoolmates, I probably wouldn't be writing this, much less could I have set the world record at the 2003 Berlin Marathon or had the chance to once again participate in this year's New York City Marathon.

The Big Apple is a long way from the dusty Kenyan town of Baringo where I grew up and where drought, disease, and hunger were a daily reality. For most kids in Baringo, life was an uphill struggle, where the lack of food meant you couldn't get a head start in life. Children usually spent their early years helping their families earn a living. At best, only one child in the family went to school, but even then, hunger always hovered nearby.

When I was 8, however, all that changed. The WFP began distributing food at the schools in the area, and, all of a sudden, a heavy burden was lifted. My friends and I no longer worried about being hungry in class. We ate a simple meal each day and could concentrate on our lessons.

Those kids who had dropped out of school came back; others, who had never been to school, were sent by their parents. Today, 27 years later, I often ask myself the question: Without the benefit of school feeding, would I have become a literate, healthy, successful long-distance runner?

Since my days as a beneficiary, I have learned that school feeding can dispel hunger, cut malnutrition, double school attendance, and boost educational performance. It also compensates poor parents for the loss of their children's labor while they are attending classes.

What makes school feeding so valuable is that it frees individuals to develop their innate potential while building self-reliance. This can be done for millions of other children around the world.

The highly successful postwar school feeding programs in Europe, the US, Japan, and other countries, helped transform war-torn nations into strong societies and economies in just one generation. The same can be done for developing countries worldwide.

Just 10 cents out of every dollar the US spends on diet products would help prevent the death of almost 10 million people every year. But we don't have to think in terms of millions of dollars. The bottom line is that it only takes 19 cents a day to feed a hungry child in school in Kenya, Bangladesh, or Honduras.

The choice before us then, is not between fighting hunger or obesity - both are important and doable. It's within our power to win while fighting on both fronts.

This Thanksgiving, Americans can be proud of the enormous good that they do through their charitable donations and the aid their government provides in Africa and across the globe. As you pause to give thanks at the dinner table, please spare a thought for those who still need your help. Then, on Friday, when you cannot bear the idea of more desserts, start saving what you would have spent on them in a week or a month and help feed a child.

• Paul Tergat is the world's fastest marathon runner. He is a former recipient of WFP school lunches, and now an ambassador for the program.

Thanksgiving

Well, today did turn out to be a very weird ending to what was a very weird week.

Following last night's little snowstorm, we had a windstorm early this morning. The roaring of the wind woke me up, in fact. It sounded like a train in the distance. Well, I believe it was the wind that knocked out the power to our neighborhood.

Dan spent most of the day messing around with trying to cook the turkey breast on the barbecue grill out on the deck out in the snow. He did manage to accomplish that, and we were very very glad we only had a breast rather than a whole turkey.

About the time I called work to tell them about the situation with the power, and that I might be late because I needed to eat something before I went in, the power came back on. We had hooked up the generator for the furnace and the refrigerator, but were not able to use the stove or small kitchen appliances. So, with power restored, we were able to cook the side dishes and use the oven to make biscuits. I got to try everything except for the pies, which were still cooking when I had to leave for work. I can always get some pie after work, or even eat a piece for breakfast tomorrow.

Well, I wanted a Thanksgiving for my older son to remember, as it might be the last one he has while living at home (depending on where he goes to college). I did not expect a power failure, or a snow storm, or having to barbecue the turkey out in the snow!

Thanksgiving Eve part 2

Very strange day. I wish I could say it was also the end of a very strange week, but I still have to work tomorrow.

The week started with a very odd attempt by a patient to do great self-harm. It involved hanging himself, throwing himself off of a fourth floor railing, the rope breaking (thank God), and the patient landing on the third floor rather than plummeting all of the way down (thank God). He was hurt, but not killed. But it still shook all of the hospital staff up terribly.

Monday and Tuesday we got pounded by high numbers of ER patients. This is not uncommon before a major holiday, so we handled it.

But we have also either run out or come very close to running out of some rather important drugs which are on national back order, and that is extremely frustrating. One is a very commonly used chemo drug. Patients often get it in once weekly doses for a few weeks in a row as a part of their treatment. We aren't sure what is going to happen to our patients who will be getting their treatment cycle interrupted. Infuriating!!!

Today started with that phone call that woke me up out a very sweet and sound sleep. For whatever reason, when I get woken up like that, my brain never seems to wake up for hours afterward.  But I got going and decided to run to the nearest store to get my assigned boxes of granola bars. Right as I was about to walk out of the door I got a very strange phone call from someone who identified themselves as working as the bus garage, and very excitedly asked if I had any children on the bus. I told them that my children were at wrestling practice and should not be on a bus. They asked if my children were in elementary school, and I said no - they are in middle school and high school. They then said OK and hung up. That phone call was very strange, and the only thing I could think of was that one of the busses must have spun out in the snow and ended up in a ditch someplace. That's a phone call to shake up a parent!

Went to the warehouse club, which is the closest grocery store, and the parking lot was completely mobbed. I went in anyway, and the store was mobbed. I grabbed my few items (the assigned granola bars, some blank CD's, and some cookies and a cheesecake to take into work with me to share with my coworkers) and got into line. I was very pleased when I realized that everyone was only getting small items in small numbers. Things like a couple of gallons of milk or a bag of bakery rolls. So that turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

The drive wasn't bad. It was snowing, but the surface roads were fine (the freeways were awful with lots of jack-knifed semis). And the snow was very pretty.

That had changed by the time the midnight shift came in. It was after dark and the snow was nearing a white out. One of the girls took more than two hours to get in from the neighboring town. She took the freeway and there were accidents, spin outs, and jack-knifed trucks everywhere.

So I am glad I got to drive in when I did. And on the way home, the snow had stopped and the surface roads were fine again.

The weird day/night/week was capped off by one of the nurses on duty being taken to the ER for a suspected heart attack tonight.

Only one more night to go for the work week. And tomorrow should be quite pleasant, a holiday at home (for the day anyway) with my children.  Friday I am off from work, and we hope to go see the latest Harry Potter movie!  Saturday our high school is hosting a huge wrestling tournament. Both the kids will be wrestling, and Dan and I will be volunteering all day. Bill has promised to do his UM admission essays this weekend. Maybe we can start getting up the Christmas tree on Sunday? Heaven knows when we might find time otherwise, now that wrestling season has begun...